Wordless Wednesday (ok, almost Thursday)

Joey's birth story... finally.

Our family is complete!

Joseph Robert Bellinger
Born June 1st 1:08pm
7lb. 1oz – 19.5 inches long

Well here is Joey's long time coming birth story. The 1st is a brief (well for me) narrative of his birth that I wrote up a couple days after he was born. The 2nd is a more detailed timeline version. Yeah, kind of annoying and redundant to post 2 versions but it is more for record keeping sake for me than anything else :)

June 1st 6am was my induction. (My Dr. and I had decided on an induction because my platelet count had dipped too low to have an epidural if I wanted one so several days before my induction I took prednisone to boost my platelet count to an acceptable range.) I arrived at the hospital at 6am but they didn't start pit till 8am. Joey was born at 1:08pm after 12 minutes of pushing. (Amazing compared to my 3.5 hours of pushing with Jackie.) My platelet count had dropped back down to 108 despite the prednisone (from 130 the week before) but at least it was over 100 so I was OK for an epi, but it proved to me how important it was that I was on the meds and planned everything this way even though they made me a bit crazy... I can't imagine how low my count could have gone without the meds.

As planned I did get an epi around 10:45am but worked hard on not pushing the button that gives out measured doses too much -I wanted to feel the contractions some especially when it came to pushing. Well it was perfect! I could tell when I was going from 7-10 cm because it was much more painful but it didn't last real long before the dr. had me start pushing. Again I felt a quite a bit of pain but it really helped me push. It was the perfect balance of manageable but useful pain. Baby Joey - Joseph Robert - was born at 1:08pm - 7lb 1oz, 19.5 inches with a lovely shock of dark hair -like his daddy, like I was hoping :-) We plan on calling him Joey until he tells us not too :-)

I just can't express how perfect this whole L&D was for me. I had such a difficult 1st birth with Jack with so many things that didn't go right, that I feel I missed out on or could have been done differently... but this one was so wonderful. I feel so blessed that I got to experience this birth this way. I got to see his head coming out, the doc even had me help pull him out of me, and I got to cut the cord. This was my last delivery and now I feel like I didn't miss out on anything... I got to experience everything I didn't get to the 1st time. Really it couldn't have gone any better.

Detailed Timeline of Joey's Birth

6am arrive at the hospital for induction – Nurse #1 says dr. didn’t leave orders and they don’t call him till after 7am. New nurse comes on and trusts that I’m actually there to be induced.
7-8am – 1st nurse blows out my vein in the left hand trying to get in an IV. Gets it in the right hand. Lab guy who comes to test for my platelet count and can’t find a vein in the normal spot so does it in the middle of my forearm?! Still had a bruise 2 weeks later. Platelet count comes back at 108, 100 is the cut off for an epi. Surprised it is that low though because 6 days before it was 130 on prednisone (week before that it was 97 without it).
8:10am Pitocin started. Nurse continues to turn it up over the next 2 hours till contractions are 3 minutes a part.
10:10am 5cm dilated, dr. breaks my water. Works around baby’s head to press as much fluid out as possible to move things along quickly. He reports that baby Joey is in the posterior position but will hopefully turn to anterior soon. Epi is ordered.
10:30am Epi team arrives but struggle to get epi in. After putting it in and taking it out, then poking around quite a bit it is in and set by 11am. This process is the one of the post painful part of the delivery, sitting up bent over my stomach through contractions while they try to get the epi in my spine. John was a great help through out the delivery, holding my hand and encouraging me, but was most needed during this time.
11:30am Epi is going, still feel contractions some and am working to not push the button for more medicine. Epi is rather uneven so I’m propped up on my side with pillows to help even it out.
11:35am I’m trying to adjust the pillows and end up realizing one of the pillows is my butt! (as noted by John’s notes for my timeline “11:35am -ass pillow”.)
12:15pm Dr. Chow says I’m almost 7cm, baby has moved into the posterior position, and thinks should move along quickly.
12:30pm "things a hurtin” – let dr. know things are a lot more painful, definitely moving into the 8-10cm dilatation phase. Working hard on breathing through contractions.
12:55pm Pushing begins! Thinking “down, out and away” while pushing and looking up at Jackie’s birth picture in between pushing. Both these things really help. Epi is perfect – low enough for me to feel contractions but up enough that the pain is bearable with focused breathing.
1:08pm Baby Joey is born! I even got to see his head just sticking out of me. He was all purple looking. The Dr. had me stop pushing and suctioned him to get him to fuss/ cry a bit. Then he had me push his shoulders out and then the Dr. quickly said “Mary Jo give me your hands” and he grabbed my hands and had me grab Joey under his arms to help pull him the rest of the way out of me. It was the most amazing sensation! I also got to cut the cord.

I was crying tears of joy and saying Oh My God through the last part of the delivery. It was such an amazing experience. Everything I didn’t get to have the 1st time.
1:15pm Baby Joey pees on mom for the 1st time –right when they put him on me after cleaning him up before they had a chance to cover him up he peed. Jackie pooped on me right after birth so this was quite fitting.

Oh and I just have to giver proper due to my OB, Dr. Daniel Chow of Diamond Women's Center in Edina, MN (http://www.diamondobgyn.com/Physicians.cfm/pid:44/Daniel_Chow/index.html). His care was perfect throughout the delivery as well as the pregnancy. He's one of those doctors that has the perfect style of explaining things to you and helping you understand the situation. He even called me on Sunday once to give me test results. I mentioned that he was my dr. to someone in the health care industry recently and they said "oh, he's a rock star!" So true - I wish I could just see him for all my future medical needs. I even sent him a thank you card and I'm not one to send thank you cards.

I just feel so blessed to have my last labor and delivery happen the way it did, like I've experienced everything I ever wanted to in this area. What a way to finish!

Brothers

My Jack is a bit of a maniac. He's very physical and often rather wild with an awful temper. His 1st reaction to frustration and anger is usually physical (hitting or throwing a toy), which is difficult but I work very hard with him on it (that's a whole other post... I believe his intensity will make him a powerful adult someday.. if I survive to see it :). With all that said I NEVER thought he would be so naturally loving and gentle with his little brother. He is just so sweet with him I can't believe it. He also wants him in the room with us all the time, which is a bit annoying at meal time when Joey is sleeping and I want him to stay that way so I can eat!

I also love seeing how Jack so proudly wants to show off his baby brother when we are in public. At school pick up time he has to show Joey to his teachers or any random parent walking by. If they stick around long enough after the initial introduction he'll say... "And look at baby Joey's cute little feet!"... or yittle peet (he definitely has a thing for Joey's feet... but of course Jack will then refer to his own feet and say "And I have cute little feet too!") He is also quite amazed that Joey has no teeth... or teeff. It is wonderful to see how much Jack is fond of Joey already. Of course that will probably change some when Joey is mobile and interested in Jack's toys. Jack is very very possessive (another separate post). But in the mean time it is so sweet it melts my heart daily.

And Joey continues to love hearing Jack play and tell his stories. Near his big brother is clearly Joey's favorite place to be when he is alert. If Joey is fussy, Jack's noisy ramblings will calm him down and perk him up, which makes me almost which Jack was awake for Joey's late night gassy screams. In fact, yesterday I had Joey in my lap (just finished breastfeeding him) and Jack and I were sitting on the couch talking. When Joey finished eating I propped him up in my arms so he could take in what Jack was saying, and Joey smiled! I knew Joey's 1st smile would some how have to involve his big brother. And on his 1 month birthday. I would guess most of Joey's "firsts" will be somehow connected to his big brother Jack.

Favorite moment...

Baby Joey is here! I need to do a full blog on his arrival and all but in the mean time I have some moments to record. I don't want to let my perfectionistic ways stop me from recording these moments even though it means they will all horribly be out of order -as in coming before the birth story and blog announcing Joey's arrival.

So here is my favorite moment from today... well despite my semi-comatose state I have many favorite moments from today but here is one I wanted to record and share. Baby Joey has these long alert phases and what he wants to do the most during these times is hang out with the family and listen and watch. It's amazing. I'm in the other room with him where it is quiet, maybe talking to him some or holding him, and he gets fussy. We wander into the bathroom where Jack and daddy are having a rowdy loud bath time and Joey perks right up and focuses in on everything going on. At dinner he's not content sitting in his vibrating seat with his paci, but he wants to sit in daddy's arms propped up so he can hear and see (as much as the little guy can) what's going on. He knows all these sounds from the past several months.... he already loves the sound of his big brother playing loud and being silly. He loves when daddy talks to him and tells him sarcastic little anecdotes. He arrives and his part in the family has already been carved out in his little heart.

My Baby...

OK, sorry, not THAT baby yet, but my 1st baby. Seriously I don’t know if it’s just hormones or knowing that a real baby will be arriving soon, but I’m just overwhelmed these days at how grown up my 1st baby really is. I feel a bit ambushed. I mean I look at him and just can’t believe he is such a little big boy now. Oh don’t get me wrong, we are having those 3 year old moments too that remind parents very clearly how NOT grown up these little people are, but who he is now just shocks me sometimes.

I spend my day with someone that is such a real person all of a sudden, such a personality. He has always been such a highly emotional child which has brought many challenges, but now it’s like I’m getting the benefits too at a new level. The special hugs, touches, I love you’s throughout the day and I missed you “berry much” after only 2.5 hours of preschool. And overall I feel like a switch has turned on – a switch where he shares his thoughts, musings, observations, opinions (not just in a yelling 3 year old way either), and emotions at such a new level… I just feel blessed and amazed at who he is, who he is becoming every day. OK and I’m probably hormonal and very pregnantly aware of how it will all change shortly when my 2nd baby arrives any day now. Oh, I’m going to let Jackie grow-up as he wants to and needs to but he will always be my 1st baby, my 1st “best buddy”. Of course I’ll let him grow up because it is so abundantly clear to me that this is my absolute favorite age so far. But now suddenly when I go in and check on him at night before I go to bed, straighten him out in his big boy bed so he isn't sideways or sleeping on top of 5 stuffed buddies, stroke his hair, give him a gentle kiss and then another, I look at him and it just pierces my heart –so sweet, so precious, so mine.

Procrastinating Perfectionist

I know they sound contradictory, but they aren’t really. And it is what I am. I’ve written at least a dozen blog entries in my head (good ones too, but you’ll have to take my word on that) over the past few weeks. But alas I’m also as big as a house. Well OK probably not but I feel like it. And it is very difficult for me to sit at the computer (not a laptop) for more than 10 minutes without getting uncomfortable. And nesting… I’ve been doing a lot of nesting which apparently for me does not entail keeping my blog up to date despite many things to write about.

So back to my being a procrastinating perfectionist, first, I’m kind of a perfectionist. I’ve got the mindset of if you aren’t going to do it really well, don’t bother. Unfortunately quite often I feel like whatever I do is a reflection of me. So when I do something I really want to do it right… not half-assed. I hate half-assed. (And one of my flaws is that I have a hard time realizing that others are OK with half-assed). So because of this I sometimes end up wanting to do things, even starting things in my mind but not actually doing them because at that moment I just don’t have the time or energy to make them perfect… like they HAVE to be. So I procrastinate but then it only gets worse. I mean really to make the perfect blog entry at this point it would have to cover a lot of important stuff and at great length too! So then I procrastinate more. So I realized to get started blogging again I just needed to write about what has kept me from writing –the procrastinating perfectionist that I am. And swallow my perfectionistic pride and do a quick (ha-ha) highlight of some of the things going on. Excuse the lack of transitions… this isn’t going to be perfect.

Sleepover - Jack had his 1st sleepover without daddy or mommy! He stayed at grandmas and grandpas from Saturday morning to Sunday morning while John and I jetted off for a glamorous… Refresher Birth and Delivery course and a nice evening together. They took Jack to a farm where apparently Oscar the pig tried to eat his coat but grandpa saved him. They had a great time. It’s nice to know it went so smoothly in case they need to take him for a couple of days if I deliver early.

Ugliest Disease- Yeah, I know nice transition. One of the other blog entries I had written in my head was not fun and light. It is about the ugliest disease I know, that I’ve ever witnessed from a variety of angles. Alcoholism or Addiction. It steals so much. Not only the life of the addict but of those that love them, those that live in that awful conflict of recognizing it as a disease and yet an eventual choice… I have an extensive blog entry in my heart about this, one that will come out at some point. Heck I’ve got a whole book I want to write. But for now I just mention my cousin Joe H., whom I’m not all that close to, but is victim of, a participant with, this ugly disease called alcoholism to such a physically ravaging degree. Sometimes addiction ravages trust and relationships only for a while but with such an acute level of deception that it destroys so much unseen, so much under the surface beyond just the individual in the grips of addiction. Other times, it physically destroys the individual, like my cousin Joe. He’s had periods of sobriety over the last few years but now when he drinks he pukes blood within days. His skin turns yellow, his body shuts down. Currently, he is in the hospital with massive blood clots on both his legs and his lungs. He was put in a coma for a while to attempt to treat him. It seems likely that he has suffered a stroke. Obviously his prognosis is not good. He is in his mid 40’s and will likely die. There are many disease that kill, that cause great suffering, addiction is just one of the ugliest ones I’ve known personally. It affects so much that surrounds it. It is a disease, and yet it is a disease the people have a choice in, yet they don’t, and yet they do. That’s part of the ugly I think. Your prayers and thoughts for Joe and his family are appreciated.

Remodeling – (Yeah seriously there is no good way to transition here…) Our dining room remodel is done! It included the removal of a wall that separated it from the kitchen and the rest of the house, a small addition, ½ wall to create a mud room and a patio doors. We love it! I’m so glad we had it done. I’m even more glad that we decided to do just the dining room for now, as the original plan was to do the dining room and the kitchen. They’d still be here working on it if we had gone forward with that version and I’d be a crazy pregnant woman without a kitchen. Hopefully in a year we will be able to think about doing the kitchen as well…and even a bigger hope is that my ancient AWFUL electric cook top and stove don’t die in the mean time. The next blog entry I need to do (no promises though) is to upload some pictures of the before and after. Then again if baby Joey arrives before that, clearly he should get top billing before the remodel job. Speaking of which (oh a transition!)...

Baby Joey and Pregnancy- 14 more days till baby Joey arrives!... or less!? I’m 37 weeks today and have an induction planned for June 1st -2 weeks from today. Last Tuesday I was 1.5 cm dilated and my platelet count had surprisingly gone up to 107 from 105 when it normally goes down at this point in pregnancy. We’ll continue to test it weekly since I’m close to the mark (100) where they won’t allow you an epidural.

Otherwise, like I said I’m a nesting fool these days. Seriously why can’t they figure out how to manufacture this nesting instinct so I could use it at other times when I need to get a bunch of stuff done?! Then again I do love a deadline. With nesting it is hard to not overdue it at this point in pregnancy. For me I have a ton of energy one day and run around like a mad woman getting stuff done and then am wiped out the next day. Which is OK, since then I usually stop and recuperate. Sunday was more a recuperating day (though still entailed a walk with the boys to our favorite creek and a trip to BRU) because something has changed. I’m pretty sure I’d already dropped but I think baby Joey has really engaged his head down into my pelvis. I stood a lot Saturday (busy day cooking with friends) and when I woke up Sunday I swear the kid is a few inches lower and ½ hanging out of me. You previously pregnant women know what I’m talking about. Something has definitely changed –now when I have a contraction it’s more painful and I feel like they kid’s shoulders are pushed up against my pelvis! Or when he moves (which he does in the most hyper frenetic way) I swear he’s going to poke his way out.

Ah… the last few weeks of pregnancy. There really is no physical torture like it –at least none that I’ve experienced. Then again, this will be my last time experiencing pregnancy and this stage of torture so thinking about it ending makes me kind of sad. I’m not one that has easy pregnancies, not horrible, but not comfortable that’s for sure. But I really have tried to enjoy it and appreciate it more knowing it’s my last. I hope to take the same mindset and apply it to all the struggles of dealing with an infant (not the stage of parenting that comes natural to me!) I’ll miss the little maniac going crazy in my belly. I can’t wait to see what he’s like outside of the womb!

And for a great but brief (yes, I know what that is, just can’t do it myself) little sentiment on this matter specifically see http://heathertyfeatherty.blogspot.com/2009/05/16-days.html - a dear friend of mine’s blog. Her blog is hugely entertaining, full of wonderful crafty things and a great honesty so add it to your favorites when you are done. I stalk it every day to get my Heatherty Featherty fix.

A Little Person - oh yeah one more thing.... my little boy is a real person! Recently I've just been loving the time I spend with him. I know, I know I sound awful saying that, like I didn't love the time I spent with him before or that he wasn't a person before... But now it's like spending time with a little person, one who I can visit with at meals, that tells me how he feels, what he's thinking about and what he likes. And not just in grunting screaming toddler ways, but in sweet beautiful insightful 3 year old ways. I'm feeling the benefits (rather than just the challenges) of having an emotional and emotionally expressive child. I LOVE IT! More on this later I'm sure.

I’m sure there is more to write about (heck I just went back in and added the Little Person part). But this is good enough (deep breath) for now. Hope to write more soon and not just in my head this time!

Oh the things they say

Sometimes the best things they say are things you over hear them say to someone else... you are allowed to laugh a little more and not required to hide your expression as much!

Daddy was just giving Jack a bath. He'd asked Jack to roll over on his tummy and swim so he could clean Jack's butt.
After some scrubbing and then splashing from Jack rolling back over and sitting up on his knees I hear -
Jack, in a mildly distressed voice: It's bigger daddy?! It's bigger?! Make it small again!
Daddy: Oh, well... it's OK they do that sometimes...
Jack, more distressed: Make it small again, make it small again! It's bigger?!
Daddy: It's OK hunny they do that sometimes... just think of... well something like baseball or grandma.
Mommy: Stifled laughter from the other room (not an easy thing to do 8 months pregnant).

Need I say anything more?

Hmm.... I'll have to do a post on this specific topic/ theme. There have been a few interesting quotes from the past that must be shared and recorded for future blackmail. Hey, he's a boy right? And we are having another one soon... we better just get use to it!