Wordless Wednesday

I googled "OCD in Young Children" today...

Well the title might give you an idea of what I'm struggling with here! (And nice 1st blog entry to do in over a month, huh?!) We have a great month or so with Jack and then all of a sudden he's extremely emotional and, well, crazy! I guess 3 year olds are just like that in general sometimes and then you add in the fact that he's super emotional and kind of a control freak and it makes for a mess. And the fact that I'm emotional and a bit of a control freak too doesn't help I'm sure.
Anyway he's hyper obsessive right now about all his characters in movies. When he watches one of his favorites he has to line up the characters perfectly for each scene. And I don't mean Woody needs to stand next to Slink the Dog (which is a tractor with a long trailer here...genius). I mean the snake and shark need to be in their perfect places too. What you say? There is a snake and a shark in Toy Story? Yep for about 30 seconds total. So Jack either has us stop the movie every 30 seconds (not happening) or cries and throws a fit that everyone isn't in their place. So needless to say a few movies have been put in time out for a while here... as well as Jack. I mean this is all funny when you aren't in the throws of it... and yet sometimes it's not. Sometimes it scares a momma.
I have seriously looked at him a few times lately and thought "What is wrong with him? He's psychotic?!" And then of course.... I wonder if he has OCD or something. Which he doesn't, not according to the description but man that kid is OBSESSED about things being just right! It has gotten a little bit better since we've put movies in time out and laid down the law more with it (as in throw a fit about something like this and you get put in your bed) but still it is sometimes scary. I'm sure (ok hope) that it's a combo of his intense temperament and him being just 3.
It's also the time where I need to remind myself about the benefits of him being such an intense and emotional child. For example I get these amazing hugs and I love yous all the time. It's so sweet to drop him off at school and have him run back to be before I leave to give me a big hug and say "I love you mommy" or his latest "You're the sweetest mommy." Or when I pick him up he comes running across the room like he hasn't seen me for days and does the same. And as far as his intensity goes, well he can get caught up in telling his stories and be focused on them on his own for over an hour... it's amazing to see how focused and independent he can be. I'm sure it will serve him well in adulthood... if he makes it there :)
So I'm reminding myself of these things and trying to not freak out about my son's constant freak outs right now. Yeah, we are just 2 peas in a pod aren't we? Actually make that 3 with our drooling happy companion, Joey, who is always entertained by whatever his brother does!

Sleepless in Seattle

Well obviously I'm not in Seattle but still we are quite sleepless in this household. Well at least I am and Joey is too. (So excuse the rantings of a sleep deprived woman here...) Joey's been waking up every 3 hours to eat and sometimes even more frequently. He had been sleeping a 6-7 hour stretch each night but when he got close to 3 months (he'll be 4 months tomorrow) he started waking up more... and then even more 2 weeks ago and has kept it up since. Last night he was up 1.5 hours after going back down at 3am... then up again an hour later. He's been always eating a ton when he wakes up so I'm OK with that, the big boy needs to eat. BUT he's starting to wake up more and I'm just not OK with that! I have flash backs to the days Jack woke up almost every hour after his 1st 4 hour stretch for no apparent reason. But Joey isn't Jack and I need to remind myself of that. He's a million times more mellow and I'm a 100 times less freaked about everything.... then again I'm also 10 times more tired and spent taking care of a baby and a busy bossy intense 3.5 year old at the same time. But hey I keep reminding myself this is the last time I'll be doing this since Joey is our last baby. That and I think he must be teething... he tries to gnaw his fingers off or your fingers off every chance he gets. We go in for his 4 month appt. tomorrow so maybe I'll know more then, but probably not :) since there is no magical answer with some babies.

Anyway I was also going to say there was another reason I thought of Sleepless in Seattle and wanted to blog about it. We had a really hard couple of months with Jack right after his 3rd birthday, then the past 2 months it's been sooo much easier - almost no meltdowns, less bossy, more flexible (which any thing is an improvement in flexibility for him), etc. Well about 1.5 weeks ago (just before he turned 3.5) it flared up again. I swear we now have at least one meltdown a day. And me being so tired I'm having them too -or at least not handling Jack's meltdowns all that well all the time.

Well the other day he HAD to have a certain toy/ character to watch a movie with (an almost identical but smaller replacement wouldn't do) so we looked all over... well 15 minutes later we still didn't find it, were not willing to look any longer and his time to watch the movie before dinner was running out. Dad and I both tried to explain to him that because he was being difficult, not flexible, and not willing to use a replacement toy it was almost time for dinner and there was little time left to watch the movie. Of course he spiraled into a meltdown (he was 1/2 way there) and through the tears and tantrum we hear "I don't wanna be difficult! I don't wanna be difficult!" LOL which later reminded me of a movie scene with Meg Ryan crying saying "I'm difficult, yes I'm difficult..." in relation to why some relationship didn't work. It was done in the same pitiful sad blubbering tone as Jack's "difficult" rant.

So anyway I thought, oh I can do a Sleepless in Seattle post and wrap that into it. Here I am typing it up and realize in my poor sleep deprived state that, well duh, that Meg Ryan scene was from When Harry Met Sally not Sleepless. Sigh... well I'll just use this rambling entry as proof of my mushy brain and post this anyway.

Wacky Wordless Wednesday

Sorry I have to make 2 quick comments (leave it to me to not be wordless) -yes, I'm growing perverted tomatoes and no, that is not Joey with the monkey but one of my old favorite pictures of Jack).

Tired Tuesday

Well, yes I'm tired (I mean duh, I have 2 month old and a 3 year old) and it's Tuesday but that's not why I'm calling this blog post Tired Tuesday. I wanted to share some fun sleeping pictures and memories!

First you gotta start with a good yawn, complements of Joey -

And then look at sleep positions...these 2 pictures just happened to be side by side in my camera. And if I snuck in and took a picture of their daddy late at night I'd most likely get the same shot (I get poked with those elbows regularly!)

And then of course the infamous picture of Jack creatively falling asleep mid-story telling during quiet time. Yes, that is a stool on his head and he IS hugging a bus... you can just imagine the story line! He must have had to stop a moment to think of the next scene when he dozed off.

Since Jack doesn't nap very often any more we do quiet time instead of nap time where he brings toys into his bed - usually various characters from a favorite movie and he recreates it in dramatic, loud (there by negating the idea of quiet time but oh well) detail scene by scene.... and no my son does NOT watch to much tv! LOL)

One of the sweetest sleep things lately for me is that Joey loves to fall asleep propped up on my chest. Here's Joey, not even 2 weeks old yet asleep on me.

I love when he does this! I think part of why I love it so much is that I remind myself (even in the middle of the night, OK especially in the middle of the night) that Joey is my last baby, that I will never hold a baby so small that is mine again. And the other reason I love propping him up and snuggling him, asleep or not, is that Jack would never let us do this. Seriously, when you'd prop him up to burp him as a baby he'd start kicking and squirming like crazy, basically climbing you. So we had to burp him like this...

And because when I dug up this picture of Jack I was shocked, again, at how much my boys look/ed alike as babies... I had to stray from the topic and share one of Joey at about the same age from a couple days ago.

Wordless Wednesday (ok, almost Thursday)

Joey's birth story... finally.

Our family is complete!

Joseph Robert Bellinger
Born June 1st 1:08pm
7lb. 1oz – 19.5 inches long

Well here is Joey's long time coming birth story. The 1st is a brief (well for me) narrative of his birth that I wrote up a couple days after he was born. The 2nd is a more detailed timeline version. Yeah, kind of annoying and redundant to post 2 versions but it is more for record keeping sake for me than anything else :)

June 1st 6am was my induction. (My Dr. and I had decided on an induction because my platelet count had dipped too low to have an epidural if I wanted one so several days before my induction I took prednisone to boost my platelet count to an acceptable range.) I arrived at the hospital at 6am but they didn't start pit till 8am. Joey was born at 1:08pm after 12 minutes of pushing. (Amazing compared to my 3.5 hours of pushing with Jackie.) My platelet count had dropped back down to 108 despite the prednisone (from 130 the week before) but at least it was over 100 so I was OK for an epi, but it proved to me how important it was that I was on the meds and planned everything this way even though they made me a bit crazy... I can't imagine how low my count could have gone without the meds.

As planned I did get an epi around 10:45am but worked hard on not pushing the button that gives out measured doses too much -I wanted to feel the contractions some especially when it came to pushing. Well it was perfect! I could tell when I was going from 7-10 cm because it was much more painful but it didn't last real long before the dr. had me start pushing. Again I felt a quite a bit of pain but it really helped me push. It was the perfect balance of manageable but useful pain. Baby Joey - Joseph Robert - was born at 1:08pm - 7lb 1oz, 19.5 inches with a lovely shock of dark hair -like his daddy, like I was hoping :-) We plan on calling him Joey until he tells us not too :-)

I just can't express how perfect this whole L&D was for me. I had such a difficult 1st birth with Jack with so many things that didn't go right, that I feel I missed out on or could have been done differently... but this one was so wonderful. I feel so blessed that I got to experience this birth this way. I got to see his head coming out, the doc even had me help pull him out of me, and I got to cut the cord. This was my last delivery and now I feel like I didn't miss out on anything... I got to experience everything I didn't get to the 1st time. Really it couldn't have gone any better.

Detailed Timeline of Joey's Birth

6am arrive at the hospital for induction – Nurse #1 says dr. didn’t leave orders and they don’t call him till after 7am. New nurse comes on and trusts that I’m actually there to be induced.
7-8am – 1st nurse blows out my vein in the left hand trying to get in an IV. Gets it in the right hand. Lab guy who comes to test for my platelet count and can’t find a vein in the normal spot so does it in the middle of my forearm?! Still had a bruise 2 weeks later. Platelet count comes back at 108, 100 is the cut off for an epi. Surprised it is that low though because 6 days before it was 130 on prednisone (week before that it was 97 without it).
8:10am Pitocin started. Nurse continues to turn it up over the next 2 hours till contractions are 3 minutes a part.
10:10am 5cm dilated, dr. breaks my water. Works around baby’s head to press as much fluid out as possible to move things along quickly. He reports that baby Joey is in the posterior position but will hopefully turn to anterior soon. Epi is ordered.
10:30am Epi team arrives but struggle to get epi in. After putting it in and taking it out, then poking around quite a bit it is in and set by 11am. This process is the one of the post painful part of the delivery, sitting up bent over my stomach through contractions while they try to get the epi in my spine. John was a great help through out the delivery, holding my hand and encouraging me, but was most needed during this time.
11:30am Epi is going, still feel contractions some and am working to not push the button for more medicine. Epi is rather uneven so I’m propped up on my side with pillows to help even it out.
11:35am I’m trying to adjust the pillows and end up realizing one of the pillows is my butt! (as noted by John’s notes for my timeline “11:35am -ass pillow”.)
12:15pm Dr. Chow says I’m almost 7cm, baby has moved into the posterior position, and thinks should move along quickly.
12:30pm "things a hurtin” – let dr. know things are a lot more painful, definitely moving into the 8-10cm dilatation phase. Working hard on breathing through contractions.
12:55pm Pushing begins! Thinking “down, out and away” while pushing and looking up at Jackie’s birth picture in between pushing. Both these things really help. Epi is perfect – low enough for me to feel contractions but up enough that the pain is bearable with focused breathing.
1:08pm Baby Joey is born! I even got to see his head just sticking out of me. He was all purple looking. The Dr. had me stop pushing and suctioned him to get him to fuss/ cry a bit. Then he had me push his shoulders out and then the Dr. quickly said “Mary Jo give me your hands” and he grabbed my hands and had me grab Joey under his arms to help pull him the rest of the way out of me. It was the most amazing sensation! I also got to cut the cord.

I was crying tears of joy and saying Oh My God through the last part of the delivery. It was such an amazing experience. Everything I didn’t get to have the 1st time.
1:15pm Baby Joey pees on mom for the 1st time –right when they put him on me after cleaning him up before they had a chance to cover him up he peed. Jackie pooped on me right after birth so this was quite fitting.

Oh and I just have to giver proper due to my OB, Dr. Daniel Chow of Diamond Women's Center in Edina, MN (http://www.diamondobgyn.com/Physicians.cfm/pid:44/Daniel_Chow/index.html). His care was perfect throughout the delivery as well as the pregnancy. He's one of those doctors that has the perfect style of explaining things to you and helping you understand the situation. He even called me on Sunday once to give me test results. I mentioned that he was my dr. to someone in the health care industry recently and they said "oh, he's a rock star!" So true - I wish I could just see him for all my future medical needs. I even sent him a thank you card and I'm not one to send thank you cards.

I just feel so blessed to have my last labor and delivery happen the way it did, like I've experienced everything I ever wanted to in this area. What a way to finish!

Brothers

My Jack is a bit of a maniac. He's very physical and often rather wild with an awful temper. His 1st reaction to frustration and anger is usually physical (hitting or throwing a toy), which is difficult but I work very hard with him on it (that's a whole other post... I believe his intensity will make him a powerful adult someday.. if I survive to see it :). With all that said I NEVER thought he would be so naturally loving and gentle with his little brother. He is just so sweet with him I can't believe it. He also wants him in the room with us all the time, which is a bit annoying at meal time when Joey is sleeping and I want him to stay that way so I can eat!

I also love seeing how Jack so proudly wants to show off his baby brother when we are in public. At school pick up time he has to show Joey to his teachers or any random parent walking by. If they stick around long enough after the initial introduction he'll say... "And look at baby Joey's cute little feet!"... or yittle peet (he definitely has a thing for Joey's feet... but of course Jack will then refer to his own feet and say "And I have cute little feet too!") He is also quite amazed that Joey has no teeth... or teeff. It is wonderful to see how much Jack is fond of Joey already. Of course that will probably change some when Joey is mobile and interested in Jack's toys. Jack is very very possessive (another separate post). But in the mean time it is so sweet it melts my heart daily.

And Joey continues to love hearing Jack play and tell his stories. Near his big brother is clearly Joey's favorite place to be when he is alert. If Joey is fussy, Jack's noisy ramblings will calm him down and perk him up, which makes me almost which Jack was awake for Joey's late night gassy screams. In fact, yesterday I had Joey in my lap (just finished breastfeeding him) and Jack and I were sitting on the couch talking. When Joey finished eating I propped him up in my arms so he could take in what Jack was saying, and Joey smiled! I knew Joey's 1st smile would some how have to involve his big brother. And on his 1 month birthday. I would guess most of Joey's "firsts" will be somehow connected to his big brother Jack.

Favorite moment...

Baby Joey is here! I need to do a full blog on his arrival and all but in the mean time I have some moments to record. I don't want to let my perfectionistic ways stop me from recording these moments even though it means they will all horribly be out of order -as in coming before the birth story and blog announcing Joey's arrival.

So here is my favorite moment from today... well despite my semi-comatose state I have many favorite moments from today but here is one I wanted to record and share. Baby Joey has these long alert phases and what he wants to do the most during these times is hang out with the family and listen and watch. It's amazing. I'm in the other room with him where it is quiet, maybe talking to him some or holding him, and he gets fussy. We wander into the bathroom where Jack and daddy are having a rowdy loud bath time and Joey perks right up and focuses in on everything going on. At dinner he's not content sitting in his vibrating seat with his paci, but he wants to sit in daddy's arms propped up so he can hear and see (as much as the little guy can) what's going on. He knows all these sounds from the past several months.... he already loves the sound of his big brother playing loud and being silly. He loves when daddy talks to him and tells him sarcastic little anecdotes. He arrives and his part in the family has already been carved out in his little heart.

My Baby...

OK, sorry, not THAT baby yet, but my 1st baby. Seriously I don’t know if it’s just hormones or knowing that a real baby will be arriving soon, but I’m just overwhelmed these days at how grown up my 1st baby really is. I feel a bit ambushed. I mean I look at him and just can’t believe he is such a little big boy now. Oh don’t get me wrong, we are having those 3 year old moments too that remind parents very clearly how NOT grown up these little people are, but who he is now just shocks me sometimes.

I spend my day with someone that is such a real person all of a sudden, such a personality. He has always been such a highly emotional child which has brought many challenges, but now it’s like I’m getting the benefits too at a new level. The special hugs, touches, I love you’s throughout the day and I missed you “berry much” after only 2.5 hours of preschool. And overall I feel like a switch has turned on – a switch where he shares his thoughts, musings, observations, opinions (not just in a yelling 3 year old way either), and emotions at such a new level… I just feel blessed and amazed at who he is, who he is becoming every day. OK and I’m probably hormonal and very pregnantly aware of how it will all change shortly when my 2nd baby arrives any day now. Oh, I’m going to let Jackie grow-up as he wants to and needs to but he will always be my 1st baby, my 1st “best buddy”. Of course I’ll let him grow up because it is so abundantly clear to me that this is my absolute favorite age so far. But now suddenly when I go in and check on him at night before I go to bed, straighten him out in his big boy bed so he isn't sideways or sleeping on top of 5 stuffed buddies, stroke his hair, give him a gentle kiss and then another, I look at him and it just pierces my heart –so sweet, so precious, so mine.